Wondering how to find love? It’s not easy finding someone you connect with. But there are some things you can do to boost your chances of finding love.

Everyone wants the chance to experience and find true love. Who doesn’t? Even the darkest of souls want a soulmate. But knowing how to find love isn’t always easy.

Of course, some people meet the love of their life in high school or college, and that’s it for them. But for most of us, finding someone we truly connect with is a challenge. You’d think it would be easier since billions of people are walking this earth—think again.

And at some point in our lives, we come to a moment where we want to settle down and find someone to share our lives with.

How to find love

But learning how to find love is the million dollar question. It’s a hard question to answer because there’s no formula on how to find the love of your life. People meet in different ways.

I met my partner on a dating app—yup! I didn’t expect that to happen. Some people meet their future partners in a club or at a dog park. There is no one answer to this question. But there are things you can do to help you learn how to find love. And most of it has to do with you, rather than someone else.

Everyone wants to find true love.

#1 Practice self-care. Before anything, you need to take care of yourself. If you want to find a partner who’s self-content and happy with life, you need to reflect that. Practice self-care. Get up in the morning, and tell yourself what you’re grateful for. Do activities that make you feel truly happy with yourself.

#2 Understand your own needs. What are you looking for in a partner? What do you want to do with your life? You should ask yourself these questions and answer them truthfully. This is the first step in figuring out what you want out of your life and the type of person you want by your side.

If you don’t know what you want, you’ll waste your time on people who don’t share the same goals and beliefs as you.

#3 Look for a partner, not a romantic fling. If you’re just hooking up with people, well, no wonder you’re not finding love. If you want to find love, stop going for hook-ups and short-term flings. Instead, focus on finding someone who can be your partner.

#4 Look up from your phone. You’ll be surprised how many single people are walking by you every day; if only you look up from your phone! Men and women literally everywhere around you. Sure, you can use dating apps, but there are plenty of chances for you to meet people around you. Look up.

#5 Do things you like. Don’t go swimming to meet people if you hate the beach or can’t stand public pools. Go to places where like-minded people are. If you enjoy reading, go to book stores or libraries. If you like dancing, take a salsa class. Meet people with similar interests as you.

#6 If you meet someone, don’t rush it. When I met my partner, I was so excited, but I knew from past experiences I needed to take things slow. When I rushed into things, I got heartbroken. So, take the time to get to know the person you’re interested in and see if you are compatible. This is about your life.

#7 Sexual attraction is great, but it doesn’t last. Of course, physical attraction is important. You want to be attracted to your partner, but instant sexual attraction isn’t something to focus on. The attraction takes time to develop with another person. You want to be attracted to more than the physical; you want to be attracted to who they are.

#8 Give people a chance. Like I said above, attraction takes time to develop, and it’s something you must give time to develop. So, maybe on the first date there was a little physical attraction, but it wasn’t enough in your mind. Just wait! Be a little patient. Go on a second date and get to know this person better. If there was absolutely nothing then, that’s different.

#9 Invest in getting to know someone. Having a fling with someone is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you’re looking for love, flings aren’t the best way to do it. If you want a committed relationship, then focus on dating someone.

Dating doesn’t mean sleeping with them; it means getting to know this person. Invest your time in getting to know potential partners.

#10 Stop chasing someone who’s unavailable. I know the chase is exciting; everyone loves the chase. But, going after someone who’s clearly unavailable is only wasting your time and energy. You’re not going to get this person, and even if you do, it won’t be in the capacity you want. Stop chasing after someone who isn’t for you.

#11 Have a positive outlook on love. Finding love may take time, but it will happen. You need to change your outlook and understand that the more you practice self-care and focus on understanding your own needs, you’ll find someone who matches you.

Now that you know how to find love, it’s time you took these tips and put them to the test. Good luck on your journey to finding love.